Personal development, self care and embracing wellbeing rituals can be overwhelming. There are lots of ways to shift your mindset into a more positive space but here's some guidance and a few things to get you started.
First off it's really important for me to say please check in with yourself before starting on your personal development journal, trying to overhaul your daily routine, your habits, your behaviour. Take it slowly and ask yourself these key questions:
Am I ready to make these changes?
Am I willing? Am I able?
Will I make time to help myself?
The wellbeing industry is full of tips, guidance and overwhelming to do lists with what you should be doing or not doing to feel better, happier and healthier. To avoid overwhelm just start small and choose what you think could work for you. Give it a go and if it works great, if it doesn't that's cool too. It's all about exploring.
So here we go the first tip I've got for you on how to shift your mindset...
Put filters on your consumption
Let's review what you consume for a second.
What are you consuming on TV?
What are you reading?
What are you looking at on your phone?
Is it good for you?
Is it filling you with comfort? Calm? Inspiration?
Am I learning something from what I'm consuming, reading, watching?
For example with the news - yes it's important to consume it but in small amounts, from trusted sources. Get the information you need and move on. Put it to one side and crack on with looking after yourself.
Before social media influenced our daily lives the personal development world already talked about how you became the 5 people you hang around with the most. Now that's all changed and shifted! You are influenced by the people you follow and 'hang' out with online or follow and consume from. Ultimately you can be very strongly influenced by those you interact with the most online. Make sure you are consuming content and stuff that fills you up with positivity, acceptance for where you're at, helps to change your perspective or rethink.
Right now it's especially important to consume stuff that helps you - feel good, inspires you, helps you calm down, teaches you and connects you to the people that you love and make you feel good. That goes for people too! Try and notice what you notice after reading this about your consumption and start to put filters on it.
Make Sure You Move
My second tip to shift your mindset is a really simple one and it's to move! Everyone always talks about this in the wellbeing world and it can get overwhelming and pressurising. But when I say move that can be in any way. It can be walking around the house, in nature if you can or dancing around the kitchen.
The reason why it's so important to move physically is because negativity stores itself in our bodies and tension builds up and ups. We feel tension and stress physically in our bodies so we've got to move to shift that. Try to become more aware of how you hold yourself, how you move because moving shifts that negativity out of your body. Shifting your mindset isn't all about focusing on your mind. It's about tuning into your body because our bodies always feel emotions first. If moving isn't your thing pair it with something you love like music and get the volume up and dance around like you really couldn't care less what anyone thinks! Go on, do it!
Remember to remove the pressure of moving and try to catch yourself saying 'I have to do yoga', 'I have to exercise', 'I have to start running' Just try moving for five minutes. Done. Of course if you want to do yoga and exercise then brilliant! But it's better to go for a five minute walk everyday then not move at all. Do what you can and take small steps!
Check your language
Have you ever focused in on your language and started to notice whether you use negative or positive language?
If you catch yourself saying 'I can't do this', 'It's not fair', 'I'm not good at this', 'I've got no support', 'I don't know where to start' then your brain will be working in more negative patterns. These are all valid feelings to have and to express but by being negative you are only making yourself feel worse.
If you're being negative with the language you're just going to think negatively
so starting to tweak your language from negative to positive is a big one to shift your mindset.
So here's how you can start change stuff...
Instead of 'It's not fair...'
Try 'I get to...'
'I get to be more compassionate.'
'I get to support.'
'I get to help.'
'I get to try my best.'
'I get to spend more time inside.'
'I get to spend time with people I don't see a lot'
I get to spend time with myself and learn more about what I need, how I feel, what I want.'
'I get to go for a walk a day or a run once a day' rather than, 'It's not fair I can't go outside.'
Another language patterns to catch is:
'I must do this.'
'I have to do that.'
This is more unhelpful, pressurising language.
I suggest you try to reframe this by saying;
'I will do the best I can...'
'I am trying to do this... so I can learn, so I can grow.'
Of course these things depend on what you're thinking and what you're saying. You have to become aware of the language you're using and catch the negative phrases and think how you can change them. Replace them with positive language and think how you can slowly do that overtime. When you shift your patterns of language in your mind you will become more positive naturally. Your brain will start to work in positive language patterns over negative.
You will never silence the negative thoughts and as humans it's impossible to not have negative thoughts. It's about being aware of them, trying to tweak our language so that we can help ourselves feel better. You are in control of what you say, the words you use so make the effort to make these small shifts and see what happens.
Important Reminder - Avoid Self Care To Do List
When trying out all of these tips be careful to not make this a self improvement or self care to do list and add pressure to your life. We're trying to relieve that! Productivity can be really toxic and having a to do list for self care can become pressurising for a lot of people. Be mindful of doing all this stuff. Just take one thing and try one thing. I'm a big believer in that, a little goes a long way.
Take what you need, trail and error. Try stuff out. If it's not for you put it to one side and if it is for you gather it up and put it in your own self care toolkit.
From experience when you try things out to look after yourself more you get to check in with yourself more and when you do that daily you're awareness is heightened
and you can ask how do I feel? What do I need? You get to choose what you do, making more mindful choices. So even if that choice is to rest and do nothing, own that choice and don't feel the guilty for it. Maybe the next day your choice may be to be proactive and go outside then great. That's what personal development should be about - widening your choices and making those choices good ones and ones with your wellbeing at the heart.
Recap 3 Ways To Shift Your Mindset
Filter your consumption
Move in anyway you want for five minutes
Check in on your language making the negatives more positives.
Let all of this sit with you. See what resonates and give things a try. I'd love to hear back from you and if you have any questions get in touch.
Stay safe and be well.
Keep in touch with me over on Instagram @matterofmindcoaching